End of the first week

Today is my fourth day of class and school is amazing. I will be doing a lot of reading, writing, and more memorization then I think my brain can handle. I also had what I will call the worst audition in the history of auditions. I prepared for the Jazz auditions and was playing the material perfectly. I wanted to make the big band so bad. I was practicing in the rooms by my self for hours on end, until I physically could not play any longer. The music was happening and the audition was approaching. Today I had my audition. I was so nervous, my legs were shaking and my stomach was turning itself inside out. I felt sick due to my nerves. They asked me if I knew my major scales and as I began to play them I was not able to keep track of where my slide was. I was playing wrong notes and even worse stopping and starting again. So the first scale sucked so they gave me another chance and the second one didn't go any better. Now it was time for the excerpt that I had been working so hard on. Ill be the first to say if you practice 100 percent it is not enough. I had nailed the excerpt in my practice but when I went to play it was all wrong. So then Sight reading came around and that was the end. Game over. I tried to play it and they asked me to stop and try again and it didn't go any better. By this time it must have been painful to listen to the audition. I just wanted to rewind time and start over. I wanted to get in so bad but after that audition I will be surprised if i don't get kicked out of the school. Yes it really was that bad. So that was my week all the good and bad. As I make my way along the long and winding road I realize that I have a long way to go.